10 Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

Most of my favorite bloggers are people that are (or seem to be) 100% honest and genuine on the web. I love how transparent they are about their fears, their failures, their successes, etc. Almost every time I read a post by one of these people I think to myself, "Why can't I be more like that?". So, in an attempt to be true to myself and to let whoever reads this know a bit more about myself, I'm going to list 10 things that I'm afraid to tell you. I got this idea from the amazing Becca at Life as an Artistpreneur. Even though I'm sure she doesn't know who I am, I love her writing, her creativity and her photography skillz (yes, skillz with a z because they're that awesome).

1. I try to appear confident in every aspect of my life but secretly there is a scared, little girl inside me. I am constantly afraid of failure. Or of not being good enough.

2. Even though the majority of the people in my life are older than me and I'm comfortable around them, I always get uncomfortable and fear judgement when I run into people I went to school with.

3. Sometimes I wish I could quit my job, sell all of my belongings and run away to a cabin in the woods to do yoga, read, and grow all my own food.

4. I tend to easily forget things like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I have a calendar and a day planner but since I rarely open either I always end up forgetting until the last minute.

5. I am jealous of all those people that don't have a "regular" job. Those creatives that make their own schedule, that do what they love.

6. Sometimes I talk smack. It is my way of venting. If I vent it to (the select few) people in my life then I won't be inappropriately mean to people face to face.

7. I think I have commitment problems. Not in my romantic life but in pretty much everything else. I have wanted a "big" tattoo for years now but cannot settle on something I want and actually get it. I want a creative job but what that job is tends to change from month to month.

8. I often wonder what holds myself back. Whether it is fear of failure or fear of success.

9. I have a self diagnosed minor case of OCD. To the point where I will not step on a crack (break your mother's back).... ever.

10. I have been trying to redesign/brand my blog for.... 4 years. I even bought my own domain but never put anything on it that is satisfactory to my liking.

After re-reading this it could appear as pretty dramatic/depressing. This is not the intent of this post. I always find it hard to actually write posts for fear of saying the wrong thing and offending someone or being judged.. This, I am hoping, will be a small form of therapy for me. Because all of the things I'm scared to say are right there, above this paragraph. And I'm sick of trying to be anything but myself.

So, here's to being the real us. I'd love to hear your thoughts or even read your own lists.

24 Days of Letting Go

One of my favorite places to spend time on the web is Elephant Journal. If you haven't checked it out before please head over once you are finished reading this post. There are tons of articles about many different topics. One of my favorite yogi's (Kathryn Budig) is a contributor to this website.

Anyways.. Earlier this week I stumbled upon Marylee's post 24 Things: The Autumn Surrender. Four times a year Marylee goes through a 24 day cleanse of her life. Every day for the 24 days she gets rid of/gives away something that she no longer needs. After reading her blog it was made clear to me that what you're giving away doesn't have to be a physical item. It's about cleansing your life, letting go of old, possibly destructive habits. Opening space in your heart, mind and home to new dreams and goals.

There has been a lot going on in my life for the past two months (which I haven't decided as to whether or not I will be sharing on here) and this cleanse feels like it's the perfect thing for me right now. I feel like I need to let go of what is holding me back in life and create room and an environment for good things to come in. Therefore I have decided to participate in this challenge. From October 1st to October 24th I will be letting go of something every day. I will try to post every day about what I have let go of but I'm not sure what the next few weeks will bring. Please bare with me as I might just do some recaps along the way.

If you are interested in de-cluttering your life and want to participate in the Autumn Surrender here are some deets:


How to begin:
Day one: focus on what you want to call into your life, write it down in a journal or post it to a dream wall.
Try to keep it positive. Instead of writing “I want to lose 20 pounds” you might say, “I want a healthier, lighter body that allows me to live with more freedom.
The 24 Things experience allows us to call in what serves our highest potential as the clutter in our lives, hearts and minds falls away.
The Rules:
1: No purchases for the next 24 days. You can only buy necessities. If you see something you want, start a list. If, at the end of the 24 days, you still desire it, then go on and splurge. Chances are you wont even remember what it was you wanted.
2: ONE THING each day. Focus on letting go of one item or group of items each day. A daily practice retrains the mind, redirects the your subtle energy, and establishes a new way of thinking.
Resist the urge to pick 24 items and dump them in the first week.
3: Every day you will either nourish something that serves your highest good or let go of something that hinders it.

For more information please go to Marylee's website.