I had a long conversation recently with someone important in my life about health and fitness. At one point in the conversation they said to me "I don't care what you think of me." This statement has been somersaulting in my head ever sense because I care what they think of me. I care about what a lot of people think of me. Not everyone but certainly the people I hold dearest and respect the most.
Our society has drilled it into our heads that in order to be confident, we have to not care about what other people think of us. I think this is wrong. When we don't care about what other people think of us we can royally fuck up or do nothing or be lazy and use the excuse of "well I don't care what you think of me" to hide behind our actions/inactions.
Real confidence is about believing in yourself and trusting your gut instincts. And I would like to argue that we can do that and still care about what people think of us. We don't have to do what everyone else wants us to do, or act how they want us to act. But we should care enough about the people in our lives that we care about their opinions and take them to heart. If someone in my life goes out of their way to point out that I might be doing something wrong or acting inappropriately, etc, don't I at least owe it to them to take into consideration what they are telling me? In the end it is my decision as to whether or not I continue to act a certain way or do a certain thing, but I at least owe it to that person to take what they are saying to heart and contemplate what they are trying to tell me. I owe that to them because they cared enough about me to bring it to my attention.
Caring about what others think of us is not an all or nothing game. Of course we shouldn't pay attention to bullies or people we don't respect. But to our family members, friends, partners, I believe we should let go of our pride and pay attention to what they are telling us. It might surprise you how much these people actually know about you, care about you, and can help you along your way if you care enough to let them.
i agree with you. I care what certain people (those worth my time) think of my decisions. Of course, sometimes I think we say "i don't care" when really... we do. We're trained to pretend not to care :)
ReplyDeleteWell said! I definitely care about what people think of me - I would be majorly lying to myself if I ever said otherwise! In fact, I probably care more than I should, but we all have our little insecurities.
ReplyDeleteI like this blog - I shall start reading it regularly. If you're so inclined, you could check out mine (mytransientreality.wordpress.com). And I don't just randomly tell bloggers about mine ... this is your long-estranged Saskatchewan friend :)