Most of my favorite bloggers are people that are (or seem to be) 100% honest and genuine on the web. I love how transparent they are about their fears, their failures, their successes, etc. Almost every time I read a post by one of these people I think to myself, "Why can't I be more like that?". So, in an attempt to be true to myself and to let whoever reads this know a bit more about myself, I'm going to list 10 things that I'm afraid to tell you. I got this idea from the amazing Becca at Life as an Artistpreneur. Even though I'm sure she doesn't know who I am, I love her writing, her creativity and her photography skillz (yes, skillz with a z because they're that awesome).
1. I try to appear confident in every aspect of my life but secretly there is a scared, little girl inside me. I am constantly afraid of failure. Or of not being good enough.
2. Even though the majority of the people in my life are older than me and I'm comfortable around them, I always get uncomfortable and fear judgement when I run into people I went to school with.
3. Sometimes I wish I could quit my job, sell all of my belongings and run away to a cabin in the woods to do yoga, read, and grow all my own food.
4. I tend to easily forget things like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I have a calendar and a day planner but since I rarely open either I always end up forgetting until the last minute.
5. I am jealous of all those people that don't have a "regular" job. Those creatives that make their own schedule, that do what they love.
6. Sometimes I talk smack. It is my way of venting. If I vent it to (the select few) people in my life then I won't be inappropriately mean to people face to face.
7. I think I have commitment problems. Not in my romantic life but in pretty much everything else. I have wanted a "big" tattoo for years now but cannot settle on something I want and actually get it. I want a creative job but what that job is tends to change from month to month.
8. I often wonder what holds myself back. Whether it is fear of failure or fear of success.
9. I have a self diagnosed minor case of OCD. To the point where I will not step on a crack (break your mother's back).... ever.
10. I have been trying to redesign/brand my blog for.... 4 years. I even bought my own domain but never put anything on it that is satisfactory to my liking.
After re-reading this it could appear as pretty dramatic/depressing. This is not the intent of this post. I always find it hard to actually write posts for fear of saying the wrong thing and offending someone or being judged.. This, I am hoping, will be a small form of therapy for me. Because all of the things I'm scared to say are right there, above this paragraph. And I'm sick of trying to be anything but myself.
So, here's to being the real us. I'd love to hear your thoughts or even read your own lists.