Saturday, September 14, 2013

Book Review: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Love my worn out copy.
I am a firm believer in fixing things before they are broken. That's why I get oil changes and maintain my health. But one area that most people don't think about being proactive in is their love life. I have started reading relationship advice books so that I have more tools in my basket to prevent future troubles. So when I watched a video by Rachel Talbott on youtube talking about The 5 Love Languages I immediately bought it.

And let me tell you, it has probably been the best investment in my relationship I have ever made. If you are in a relationship you need to buy this book and read it ASAP. Even if you are not in a relationship you should buy this book and read it ASAP. The 5 Love Languages will teach you to understand your partner better but it will also teach you how to understand people better. Therefore it will help with every relationship you have in your life.

The general idea of this book is that we all have "love tanks". When our tanks are full we feel appreciated, loved, cared for, happy. When our tanks are empty we feel depressed, lonely, disconnected, neglected. Each person expresses love in one of the 5 love languages (acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time and receiving gifts). As an example I speak the love language of quality time. Therefore when I want to show someone that I love them I spend a lot of time with them. And not just watching TV, but doing something interactive. I love planning date nights, having good conversations and going for walks. This is really good for my partner to know because he will then have the tools to keep my love tank full.

The problem arises in relationships when two people "speak" different love languages. One person will try to show their love to their partner in the way they want it back but because their partner doesn't speak the same love language they still end up feeling neglected or lonely. This book helps you to identify what your love language is and your partners so that you can make each other feel loved. When you feel loved by your partner you are less likely to fight with them. Confrontations, passive aggressive behavior and being nit picky usually come from not being fulfilled.

I digress. Get the book. It is worth every penny.

1 comment:

  1. Thats really interesting. The idea of there being 5 love languages and the way they work for you really struck a chord with me. I definitely agree with the theory behind the idea, and can relate it some of my own previous relationships.
    I'll see if I can find a copy of this book.